Wednesday, 16 July 2014

All About Self Love, Confidence, Acceptance and Being Yourself

Can we just talk about this picture for a sec?  Because there is just so much truth in it.  Body bashing is something we need to have a nice sit down and a cuppa tea and chat about. I go on a few social media sites and see a lot of this going on.  I've experienced it in real life myself.  I've been called fat by a few people in the past.  I've gotten depressed about it and desperately tried to changed myself- for them.  Wait, what?! Change myself to make someone ELSE happy? That doesn't make sense now does it? I'm not perfect, but who is?

I have taken a lot of time and thinking to come to the conclusion, that my body may not be perfect the way it is right now, and yes I could change it, but I'm embracing it.  I have an addictive/obsessive personality and when it comes to health and fitness I tend to go way overboard.  I'm talking calorie counting everything, exercising 4 times a week for at least 2-3 hours at a time and spending every waking moment obsessively researching about it.  That in itself is not healthy.  It is not sustainable in the long term as I was absolutely shattered after a 10 hour day at work then nearly killing myself at the gym. I don't go to the gym any more as I can't afford it, boo.

What I'm trying to get at, is that do not let idiots tell you how YOUR body should be or look like.  It's yours. If anyone tries to tell you you're too fat or too skinny, tell them to jog right on.  No one is perfect and someone pointing out your flaws is just an excuse to cover up theirs.  When my ex used to point out my weight issue, I just used to think to myself "we'll you're no prized pig yourself!".

I really want to encourage anyone who is having some self esteem issues to look at themselves in the mirror.  Point out what you like first.  Even if it is something small like "I have really great fingernails" or "My legs look great in these jeans".  Then work on the things you don't like and end it with a positive, for example "My stomach isn't flat but it looks amazing in this top". Slowly change your way of thinking.  It isn't easy but do it everyday and you will start feeling a heck of a lot better about yourself.  Also, always a great idea to make sure you're not surrounded by "putdowners" (people who put others down).  I cut all the people in my life who made me feel negative about myself and embraced those who made me feel good.

Also dress for your body shape.  Accentuate your best bits.  Legs your best bit?  Skinny jeans, skirts, anything that shows them off to the rest of the world! Even if you cannot think of a single thing that you like, hold your head up high and work what you got. Confidence comes with time and age.  It's hard to be confident when you don't feel like it.  Some say "fake it until you make it", which could work but I wouldn't know how to act confident as I don't have a GCSE in Drama.  Once you change your negative thinking into positive and surround yourself with loving people, it'll happen.

Also, I get a lot of people stereotyping me because  I have a few (OK, a lot) of piercings.  I find that the older generation tend to treat me differently.  Like I'm some sort of thug.  Far from it.  The main thing I hate is "Ughh why did you do that to your face?!"  Well, complete stranger, hate to tell you, but I did it for myself, because I liked it.  Sorry I didn't come by to make sure it was OK with you first!  A few of my friends with tattoos etc, also get this a lot.  I don't understand the need to point out something on someone else saying how you don't like it.  If you don't like it, fine, don't be rude to someone who does. They love it, obviously, otherwise they wouldn't have it.  

People modify themselves differently, whether it is dressing a certain way, piercings, tattoos, makeup.  Being an  individual should be embraced.  I remember at school someone telling me I'd "look soooo much better with blonde highlights".  Again, no, it's not OK to tell someone how they should look to please you.  Giving friendly advice is nice, but this was a bit of a dig. Let me tell you something, you don't have to please anyone with how you look.  Dress for you.  Wear what you want, and do what you want with your body (except you know, completely wrecking it).  Some people don't like my stretched ears, good for them.  Some people don't like the pink in my fringe, again, I did it for me.  Doing things for yourself is the best thing ever.  Doing something different to make you feel good is the best thing you can do for yourself.

Even once you have achieved optimum self-loving, there will be bad days.  Everyone has bad days.  It doesn't mean that you have failed, it just means that you need to step back and breathe.  Some days your favourite shirt won't fit right and your nail may break, but for every bad day you have, you'll have a thousand more good days.

Individuality and self acceptance is dying ever so slowly out.  Everyone is so negative towards each other and it really makes me sad.  Once people learn to love themselves for who they are, they can learn to love others for who they are.  There is nothing worse than sly digs, bitching and outright publicly hating about someone because they aren't how you want them to look or dress.  

I would love to know any thoughts about this post.... 

This post was inspired by two lovely people- Nicole Greenleaf  (watch her Confidence and Bullying video here) and Fuller Figure, Fuller Bust , who both speak about body bashing, confidence and self acceptance.  I think these two people really helped me and inspire me to be a better person, whether it is to embrace what I got or embrace others.  

Thanks for reading xxx

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